Well that didn't take long

Okay, I have made the necessary decisions for this blog. I am not going to concern myself with anonymity. That way I can just write what I want and not have to worry about trying to hide myself. Likely no one will be reading this anyway, and even if they did, let's be honest...nobody would take me seriously here anyway. So here goes.

My name is Edd Hershberger, and I am a professor of Marketing at a small Midwestern state school in Edwardsville, IL, which is about 15 miles east of St. Louis, MO. I have been in Illinois for about 9 months now and honestly, I am still getting used to it. I have always prided myself on my ability to adapt to new situations. When I was 18, I went off to college to live in the dorms, away from home. While this is usually a tough time for many people, I adjusted to the new situation with little problem. After I finished my undergrad degree (BSBA) in economics, I entered graduate school to get my MBA. This transition was pretty seamless as well, although it was a minor transition because I stayed at the same school, and even in the same dorm room. After I received my MBA, I took a job in my home state on North Carolina, and transitioned into the working world as if I had been doing it my entire life. I worked in industry for four years before deciding to go back to school to get my Ph.D. So I quit my job of four years, moved to Atlanta to attend Georgia State University's Doctoral program in Marketing. This was my first experience in a big city, and I had no friends or family there. Plus I was entering an academic program that I wasn't entirely sure I could handle. And yet I made the transition seamlessly, and again, felt like I was perfectly at home there. During my doctoral studies, I met my wife, and we were married on July 14, 2001. Less than a year later, I became a father with the birth of my daughter, Sydney Nicole, on May 21, 2002. After 5 years in Atlanta, I received my Ph.D. in Marketing, and the entire time there I never felt out of place. I took my current position and began teaching in August of 2003, and this move, this new job, this new life, somehow feels wrong. For the first time in my life, I feel out of place. I am not making the transition like I have made every other major transition in my life. And I have no idea why. Maybe at some point I strayed from a path that was my destiny. If you believe in that sort of thing, which I personally do not. Maybe this is the first true challenge I have ever faced, and the others were simply warm ups. Maybe it has to do with responsibility. Every other major change in my life has only affected me directly. This one has affected my entire family. My wife has uprooted her life for me, and is not entirely happy here. My 16 year old step-daughter is miserable here, and makes us aware of that at every opportunity. Sydney hasn't really noticed the move. She's not even 2 yet, so she's pretty resilient. But perhaps the fact that I have changed not only my own life, but the lives of two people who I care for very much, has made this transition much more traumatic. And I don't mean to sound like I am placing blame on them for my inability to feel comfortable here. In fact, I place blame on myself for making them move, and most likely that is why I feel so out of place. It's a guilt thing. Something I have always been too susceptible to. But more about that later. For now I suppose I will leave well enough alone.

It's nice to have this outlet I think. Therapeutic in a way. So maybe I'll keep doing this. Or maybe not. We'll see. Until then, Hershberger...Out.